I don’t know if you’ll be able to help but I can’t talk to my mother about this and my friends all think I’m being weird – I hope you have some advice for me.

I’m 25 and have come back to Ireland after working in Dubai for the past two years where I was a childminder.

I made great money and the family I worked for were Irish and treated me very well.

But I was homesick and I knew I wouldn’t stay away for very long. Most of my friends are still away, either over in Australia or Canada and they’re living their best lives. I have got a job in a local crèche and while the money isn’t great, I don’t have any bills as I’m back living with Mam.

Fringe

The thing is, I have really bad lines on my forehead that make me look like I’m frowning all the time. I tried to cut a fringe into my hair to mask them but I looked ridiculous and now I’m so conscious of how I look it’s starting to get me down.

My best friend doesn’t understand. She tells me to get Botox and that’ll solve the problem. She gets it every couple of months even though she doesn’t need it. Her skin is perfect and she has a boyfriend who is mad about her.

But I’m so scared that if I go ahead and get Botox, something will go wrong and I’ll end up looking worse than I do now. Mam would go cracked if she knew I was even thinking about this, but if I could just get rid of these lines I think I’d feel so much more confident in myself.

A Leitrim reader

Dear reader,

Your letter conveys a real sadness and I wonder how much of that is down to your perception of how you look or whether there could be an underlying mental health issue at play here.

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others, but can seem very real to the person affected, and the face is one of the most common areas people struggle with.

Most common in teenagers and young adults, BDD affects both men and women.

We women are particularly hard on themselves when it comes to our appearance because we’re led to believe that the version of beauty marketed by the beauty industry is the only kind there is. We grow up thinking we’re not skinny enough or pretty enough or that our legs are too short or are noses too long and before we know it, we have created a self-image that bears no resemblance to the reality of our true beautiful selves.

Aura

You say you work with children, so I would imagine you have a beautiful aura and a huge smile that makes little people feel special in your presence.

Comparing yourself to your best friend suggests you may have low self-esteem.

This can’t be fixed with an injection and I would urge you to reach out to your GP for help and support in dealing with your low mood at this time.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie