Dear Miriam,

I don’t know if you or your readers can help, but I’m having a desperate time convincing my wife that moving into a mobile home for six months isn’t the end of the world.

We inherited my uncle’s farmhouse but it needs quite a bit of work and so far we’re very proud of the fact we’ve managed to stay married through the planning permission and builder’s tendering process in trying to get the project off the ground.

The thing is, the budget won’t stretch to renting in the nearest town, which is almost 10km away and anyway, it makes no sense being so far from the farm where I work part-time.

She says she won’t cope living on top of each other – we have six-year-old twin boys – and that if we could even get an apartment in town it would mean we’d have a bit of comfort while the work is being done.

My argument is that we might actually get the job done in the six months if we’re on site and can make sure no one drags their feet. It’s causing fierce rows between us at the moment but I can’t give in to her on this as the money isn’t there.

The funny thing is the mobile home we’re looking at is as fancy as any apartment and it isn’t cheap either, but at least we can sell it on when we’re in our house. But the clock is ticking as the builders are ready to start, so I need to talk her round and fast.

­— Wexford farmer

Dear reader,

The stress involved in any kind of house build or renovation can test the most solid of relationships. And not many are in the privileged position you and your family face having been gifted a home, albeit one that requires refurbishment.

Your wife may not appreciate the real cost of rental accommodation at the moment – which can also be hard to source.

I think it is important to set some time aside – when you are not both distracted by the kids – and have a very real and frank finance conversation. You may need to explain to her that to spend money on a rented apartment will mean not spending it on an aspect of your new home.

I do empathise with her in the fears she has regarding two small children and two adults living full time in a mobile home for an extended period

If she sees the cold hard figures and realises her apartment living may mean she can’t have the floors she likes or other such finishing touches, that may force her to reconsider the mobile home.

I do empathise with her in the fears she has regarding two small children and two adults living full time in a mobile home for an extended period. But plenty of people are opting to save money by living in temporary accommodation on-site during construction work on their family homes. She wouldn’t be doing anything out of the ordinary on that score and if her unhappiness wasn’t to ease in the early stages of the works, I’m sure her disdain would encourage all the tradespeople and builders to get the job done.

As we head into the summer months, especially if this fabulous weather continues, there will be plenty of options for outdoor living and dining which should give everyone the space they need. If she can see on a daily basis the progress being made on her forever home it just might convince her that the short-term pain will be worth the long-term gain. I hope you all move into your new farmhouse soon.

Do you have a problem you would like to share? If so, write in confidence to: Dear Miriam, Agony Aunt, Irish Country Living, Irish Farmers Journal, Irish Farm Centre, Bluebell, Dublin 12, or email miriam@farmersjournal.ie